By: Lux Lucre
(to the tune of "I Want It That Way" as performed by The Backstreet Boys)

Yeah-eh-heah 

He is, for hire, 
The merc, I admire, 
Believe, what I'm say'n 
I want to be Jayne 

His guns, are so cool 
He's bad, but not cruel 
Dong ma, what I'm say'n? 
That I want to be Jayne  

What a guy, 
He's loyal in his own way, 
What a guy, 
He's tough, and sometimes goes astray, 
What a guy, 
Do you understand just what I'm say'n?, 
I want to be Jayne 

Now I can recall that he had a bad start, 
Holding Zoe and Mal up, you see, Yeah, 
But he's come a great distance, 
With a lot of persistence, 
He's the hero of Mudders and me... 
 
He is, for hire, 
The merc, I admire, 
He is (He is, He is, He is...) 

I wanna be him! 

He'll ogle every gal he'll see,  
"In his bunk", is then where he'll be, 
He may be crude, but he is not insane, 
I want to be Jayne 

What a guy, 
Binky and Boomer on his hips, 
What a guy, 
Using Vera to blow things to bits, 
What a guy, 
Don't make him get his Command Chain, 
I want to be Jayne 

What a guy, 
He tried to sell the Tams away,  
Nearly got spaced by Mal, as pay, 
What a guy, 
J. Cobb will always be the same, 
I want to be Jayne 

Cuz I want to be Jayne.