By: Lux Lucre (to the tune of "Take The Money and Run" as performed by Steve Miller)

This is a story about Simon Tam and River too
Two young siblings with bright futures, yes it's true
River left the house, to be trained, but hands of blue
Hurt her bad, so Simon decided to cut her loose
He got into a blackout zone hassle
A shadow group promised springing River would be facile 
Father Tam thought Simon was threatening his castle
Simon Tam took his sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run

Blue hand men knew that River's brain is packed, yes
They know she'll have bad dreams when she relaxes
They ain't gonna let that girl escape their clutches
They make their livin' off Allied people's taxes
River Tam was put in a chilly sleep
Simon Tam picked her up on Persephone
He got his sister, hey
You know they got away
They headed offworld and they're still running today
Singin' go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run
Go on take your sister and run