By: Lux Lucre
(to the tune of "What Would Willie Do?" as performed by Gary Allan)

I was lost in trouble and strife, I met a girl who changed my life
And now it's a brand new day, and I ain't afraid to say
You're not alone when you're down and out
And I think you know who I'm talking about
When I don't know how I'll get through
I ask myself: what would Kaylee do?

What would Kaylee do, well she'd travel the 'verse with nothing but her tools and a chinese curse
And her teddy-bear overalls, her cheerful pluck, a frilly dress and a little bit of luck
Well she loves all the people, the muddy and the sandy
She's the mei mei, little sister, of Serenity's family
And they'll tell you that it's true
When engines blow, what would Kaylee do?

Well long ago she came unto us, her words were simple but her skills sure helped us
A strawberry connoisseur, but then a Fed shot her.
She was down and we thought we'd lost her
But she stayed alive thanks to the work of the Doctor
And all of the family was riled, they came to see her as she smiled
Like a miracle all the crew were not death recievers
Escaping, thanks to Kaylee, from the horrid Reavers
Flipped the ship and away they flew
When it's all gone wrong what would Kaylee do?

You know sometimes I wonder when I ain't gettin' nowhere
What would sweet Kaylee do when it all gets too much to bear
And I can see her in her lonely little room
And she's got her problems just like any of us
Well she'd just take a deep breath and then she'd let it all go
And she'd take another deep breath and let it all go
And she'd take another deep breath... and she'd hold it
Ah and I bet she'd feel hungry in a way that seems strange
Yeah hungry for all the things that she just can't change
Like the time she was tied up in the engine room
When Jubal Early threatened her to seal River's doom but she sure got free
And you think that's rough, those rotten purplebellies pawed through all of her stuff
Adelia Niska hurt her captian brave, and she dropped her gun when she was trying to save.
So when it's all coming down on you
You better ask yourself what would Kaylee do?

What would Kaylee do, well she'd take a little time
And talk to Inara as she'd travel down the line
And there's millions to haul down that road, and with a smile she's gonna lighten their load
She loves all the people, each has a shiny story
Hell, she even went to a fancy ball to give her captian glory 
And that ain't easy to do, so when it's all too much, what would Kaylee
When the game gets tough what would Kaylee
When they call your bluff what would Kaylee do?